Blagues sur la guerre en Iraq
Trois mois après le début de la guerre en Irak. Dépensé 700 milliards de dollars, perdu un porte-avion, des dizaines de chars, avions, hélicoptères, des centaines de missiles de croisière tirés, plus de 7000 mille soldats tués et blessés.
Le Sénat demande à George W. Bush:
- Comment avez-vous réussi à vaincre Saddam Hussein?
- Il est mort tout seul. De rire.
Deux soldats prient avant l’attaque sur Bagdad.
Le premier:
- Mon Dieu, faites que je reste en vie ou que je meure en héros.
Le deuxième:
- Mon Dieu, faites que le pétrole se tarisse à Tumen’.
Le premier:
- T’es fou, qu’est-ce que tu racontes?
Le deuxième:
- Et toi, tu as envie d’aller défendre la démocratie en Sibérie?..
Un jour, Condolezza Rice ressembla les généraux américains, ferma la porte, se déshabilla et demanda:
- Alors, on fait l’amour ou on fait la guerre?…
Ainsi commença la guerre en Irak.
Pendant des siècles, les gens ont péché.
Les cieux se mirent en colère et envoyèrent sur Terre le froid et la famine.
Mais les gens s’habituèrent et se remirent à pécher.
Les cieux se mirent en colère et envoyèrent sur Terre les guerres et les maladies.
Mais les gens s’habituèrent et se remirent à pécher.
“Misérables, - dirent les cieux. - Vous l’avez voulu!”
C’est ainsi que la démocratie à l’américaine apparut dans le monde.
Source : http://www.russievirtuelle.com/blagues/irak.htm
March 22nd, 2006 at 11:56 am
pas mal !!
August 12th, 2006 at 12:44 pm
Le Spam de la Maison Blanche ayant circulé sur internet au début de l’année 2003. Peut-être l’avez-vous reçu dans votre boite aux lettres?
> URGENT ASSISTANCE - FROM USA
>
> IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED :
> HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL
>
> FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
> 202.456.1414 / 202.456.1111
> FAX: 202.456.2461
>
> DEAR SIR / MADAM,
>
> I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
> STATES OF AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND CURRENTLY SERVING AS
> PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE
> YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I
> CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO
> HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE
> TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM
> CONFIDENCE.
>
> I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR
> ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN THE
> REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN
> COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY
> ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,
> AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES CENTRAL
> INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.
>
> IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES, MY FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT
> OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO WORK WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF
> THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ TO REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE SOURCES
> IN THE NEIGHBORING ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL VENTURE
> WAS SOON FOLLOWED BY A FALLING-OUT WITH HIS IRAQI PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO
> ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE OF
> KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED U.S.-BRITISH SUBSIDIARY.
>
> MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF KUWAIT IN 1991 AT A COST OF
> SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S. DOLLARS (US dollars61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT COST,
> THIRTY-SIX BILLION DOLLARS (US dollars36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY HIS
> PARTNERS IN THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF
> MONARCHIES, AND SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS (US dollars 16,000,000,000)
> BY GERMAN ANDJAPANESE PARTNERS. BUT MY FATHER’S FORMER IRAQI BUSINESS PARTNER
> REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ITS PETROLEUM
> RESERVES.
>
> MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN FUNDING THE REMOVAL
> OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ACQUIRING THE PETROLEUM
> ASSETS OF HIS COUNTRY, AS COMPENSATION FOR THE COSTS OF REMOVING HIM
> FROM POWER. UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PARTNERS FROM 1991 ARE NOT WILLING TO
> SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF THIS NEW VENTURE, WHICH IN ITS UPCOMING PHASE MAY
> COST THE SUM OF 100 BILLION TO 200 BILLION DOLLARS (US dollars 100,000,000,000 -
> US dollars 200,000,000,000), BOTH IN THE INITIAL ACQUISITION AND IN LONG-TERM
> MANAGEMENT.
>
> WITHOUT THE FUNDS FROM OUR 1991 PARTNERS, WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO
> ACQUIRE THE OIL REVENUE TRAPPED WITHIN IRAQ. THAT IS WHY MY FAMILY AND
> OUR COLLEAGUES ARE URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR GRACIOUS ASSISTANCE. OUR
> DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION INCLUDE THE
> SITTING VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, RICHARD CHENEY,
> WHO IS AN ORIGINAL PARTNER IN THE IRAQ VENTURE AND FORMER HEAD OF THE
> HALLIBURTON OIL COMPANY, AND CONDOLEEZA RICE, WHOSE PROFESSIONAL
> DEDICATION TO THE VENTURE WAS DEMONSTRATED IN THE NAMING OF A CHEVRON
> OIL TANKER AFTER HER.
>
> I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A SUM EQUALING TEN TO TWENTY-FIVE
> PERCENT (10-25 %) OF YOUR YEARLY INCOME TO OUR ACCOUNT TO AID IN THIS
> IMPORTANT VENTURE. THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES OF
> AMERICA WILL FUNCTION AS OUR TRUSTED INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE THAT YOU
> MAKE THIS TRANSFER BEFORE THE FIFTEENTH (15TH) OF THE MONTH OF APRIL.
> I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WOULD MAKE ANYONE
> APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL
>
> AT THE END OF THE DAY. A BOLD STEP TAKEN SHALL NOT BE REGRETTED, I
> ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS
> 100% LEGAL. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO CO-OPERATE IN THIS TRANSACTION,
> PLEASE CONTACT OUR INTERMEDIARY REPRESENTATIVES TO FURTHER DISCUSS THE
> MATTER.
>
> I PRAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND OUR PLIGHT. MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES
> WILL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL. PLEASE REPLY IN STRICT CONFIDENCE TO THE
> CONTACT NUMBERS BELOW.
>
> SINCERELY WITH WARM REGARDS,
>
> GEORGE WALKER BUSH
>
> Switchboard: 202.456.1414
> Comments: 202.456.1111
> Fax: 202.456.2461
> Email: president@whitehouse.gov