Swobodin v Brně

You have two cows under the following regimes:

• Capitalism: You milk them and pour the lot down the drain to keep the price up.
• Socialism: You keep one and give the other to your neighbor.
• Communism: The Government takes both and shares the milk with you and your neighbor.
• Fascism: You give the milk to the government and they sell it back to you.
• Nazism: When it is realized that cows do not have a nation, and represent an inferior race of leeches, they are gassed. You are drafted to work on the autobahn.
• Dictatorship: Government shoots you and takes both cows.
• Apartheid: You have two cows. You give the black cow’s milk to the white cow to drink and don’t milk the white cow.
• Censorship: You                              and                  but                                .
• Bureaucracy: You fill in 17 forms in triplicate and you don’t have time to milk them.
• Idealism: You marry and your wife milks them.
• Realism: You get married and you still milk them.
• Anarchism: The cows shoot you and milk each other.
• Perestroika: You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the “free” market.
• Democracy: They outvote you 2 to 1 to ban all meat and dairy products.
• Feminism: They reproduce through cloning because bulls have no practical use in the world.
• GNUism: You have two cows whose genetic code was developed by hundreds of volunteer geneticists. The free DNA sequences and cow synthesisers are made avaliable free of charge to anyone interested to use, modify, and/or redistribute them. Nobody takes them up on the offer.
• Liberalism: You sell both to the rich. The government then taxes the rich one cow and gives it to the poor.
• Neoconservatism: You could spend the budget surplus to educate them on ways to produce more milk. You cut taxes and invade Iraq.
• Protectionism: You can’t buy a bull from another country.
• Stalinism: You fear a revolt by the cows to take over your farm. So, you kill them both.
• Totalitarism: The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
• Zionism: You pretend you’ve found a field without cows, for cows without a field.

Source: Generation Terrorists, Wiki jokebook.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 21st, 2005 at 3:55 pm and is filed under General, Fun, Philosophy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.